thoughts of an 8 year old....

Alexandria was a great city! The streets were busy, full of people. It was sad to watch the city as we left to go back to Nazareth. I was excited as well, to see a new place. A place I would call home.

There was death and destruction; the countryside was out of control. We attempted to continue to move on our way to home, to be there in Jerusalem for Passover. Herod was dead and it was safe to go home... but was it? Unruly times these are, rogues running through the streets loitering and pillaging. I cried, what has the world done to itself?

It was the most beautiful place I have ever been, the colors were so vivid. Green trees and grass, oh I loved to lie in the grass and just close my eyes. I would breath deeply the smells. I could find joy in the Lord, while I close my eyes and take it all in.

I so wanted to see snow, I prayed within my heart for snow and it snowed. Why did an angel come to Mother? Why did an angel speak to Joseph? Why are these questions forbidden? Why does Joseph not talk about why we fled to Egypt? Did we leave because of me?

I so loved to listen to Rabbi teach, I longed to listen and ask questions in the synagogue. I longed to hear the stories, to listen to our native tongue.

It was raining, we all were miserable as we walked to Jerusalem. I so wanted the rain to stop, so did Little Salome. I asked God to make it stop raining. It stopped. Did my prayer cause this? Did my prayer bring sight to the blind man at the Temple? Did my prayer kill the young boy in Alexandria and then bring him back to life? Did my prayer heal Uncle Cleopus as he bathed in the Jordan? Did Herod demand that every boy be killed because of me? This birth in Bethlehem, what did it have to do with me? Why did these Magi come to see this young child? Why do they say my mother has not been with Joseph? Why did Uncle Cleopus say "one day we will rely on you for all of the answers"? How did I bring clay birds I had made to life? Why do I dream about the bad things that happen? Who is the virgin born son? Who is this Christ Child they speak of? Could it be me?



I think back to the things I had going through my mind as an 8 year old. I can tell you that all I thought about was baseball. I know Jesus was special, but how did he react to the knowledge of His purpose? How did he cope with knowing the prophecy? How did Jesus not loose his mind when he found out that He was the Christ, the Savior, and the true Son of God? How could an 8-year-old process the devastating news that one day he will die on a cross for the sins of the world?

This past weekend I finished reading "Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt" by Anne Rice. There are things I do not agree with, but it is a fantastic look at Jesus as a young child struggling with His destiny in life. He discovers piece by piece of his life's purpose. This was a very thought provoking piece of fiction for me. I hope you find joy in knowing that Jesus was human, with human fears, human temptations, and human thoughts, but He had an unwielding faith in His father that carried Him through until the end.